by Ahmadi (Phone: 02746510131)
Chapter I
Preliminary
Each of us should want a happy family , harmonious family mawaddah wa Rohmah . But not everyone is able to realize the family as above .Many
people who can not raise a family until his death , it is because each
member of the family does not understand the functions and duties of
each , both of the men , the women or children who are not able to
devote to his parents .Marriage
is not merely built for life in the world , but the bond is attached to
the next, so that a wedding should fix intention in order to worship
Allah SWT , where marriage is a big responsibility that will be
accountable before God SWT .Marriage or marriage that is based on genuine worship and love will bring happiness to the whole family . Therefore
should the family is the source of happiness of one's life , so people
do not have to look for happiness elsewhere , as the Prophet said : " My
home is my heaven "In
the family will create happiness , peace , peace when family members
met the needs of both the food, clothing , housing , education , needs
to be able to worship the spiritual as well as other needs . Therefore,
all these needs must be taken together , so that each family member has
their role in creating an atmosphere of harmonious and prosperous
family .Instead
the family is just based on lust , whether sexual lust , lust of wealth
, lust and lust - lust position to another will not bring happiness ,
misery precisely present , accidents and squalor . People who just got married on the basis of character and lust would be enslaving , exploiting other family members . Other
family members should be able to act as he pleased , if appropriate,
that he wants to get angry and do not hesitate to commit violence both
physical and non-physical .Family
, of course we will deal with things that are out of our expectations ,
of course it takes the right attitude and maturity so that we can
realize the family dream that became our dream together .Counsel
parents before the children and grandchildren usually say : " Le dadiyo
nice patch irus cah , cah ayu Nok dadiyo munthu patch . " Mean when the
man should be like mixing vegetables , meaning that if we are to be a
man must be responsible as irus / stirrer hot vegetable vegetables even be stirred so that vegetables can taste and cooking evenly . While
the spices soften munthu function , meaning that as a woman should be
able to set the mix so that households feel awkward and unpleasant .
Chapter II
Destination Weddings
Each course has a goal to do something , either a long-term goal or a short-term nature . Destination
weddings which are short term or worldly strictly prohibited in the
religion for example someone wants to get married because of the
partner's property , want to get a position as partner nobility , or
just want to get a pair of beautiful or handsome . Marriage
is supposed that aims to build happy family forever , in this case can
only be done if the marriage based on religion or just want to get to
worship Allah SWT bless .As
the Prophet SAW said : " marry a woman for four cases : for her beauty ,
because the lineage descendants , because his property and because of
his religion , then nikahlah because of his religion , then you are
lucky . " ( Al - Hadith )Destination
weddings worship must be pure in order to get God 's bless , this is
the next step in order to get the guidance and direction of God ,
because God as our foundation charity of course we are not bored to
learn the commands of God especially associated with weddings .People
who are married with a specific purpose in addition to worship , then
of course will do as lust , will be treated in accordance with the
wishes of their partner desires , which are sought after and demanded
her partner should be able to do or have what she wants , if the spouse
can not do or have what is desired he would get angry or force your partner to be as he wanted . If that is the case then that would arise are various problems that will tarnish and destroy the bonds of marriage .For
the purpose of forming a happy family and should sejatera great sense
of responsibility must be owned either by the wife or the husband , as
the parents first told : " Le dadiyo nice patch irus cah , cah ayu Nok
dadiyo munthu patch . " Mean when so man men
should be like mixing vegetables , meaning that if we are to be a man
must be responsible as irus / stirrer hot vegetable vegetables although
vegetables can be stirred in order to taste and cooking evenly . While
the spices soften munthu function , meaning that as a woman should be
able to set the mix so that households feel comfortable and soothing and
the view .
Chapter III
Type of Family
If we study the verses kauniyah , is studied with a variety of animal life , then we can divide the family type as follows :
1 . Family Type of ChickenThe
family where the men do not want to be responsible , once the child is
born the man did not want to make a living and provide for the child . The men are looking for a new pair according to what he wants and then pair that will barupun abandoned . The
only male indulgence and pleasure their desires , marriage is not used
as an activity full of sacredness and responsibility , but merely to
satisfy his sexual desires .
2 . Family Type Ducks / DucksThat
is the type of family in which the man and the woman will not be
responsible to maintain and educate their children , so they have a
child, the child abandoned and others who care . The men and women just want delicious alone , do not want to hard . Lots going where babies dumped by their parents , they have not even made possible to be a family .
3 . Quail Family TypeThis
type of family in which the woman does not want to be responsible for
the family , that women just love to indulge his passion and love
bergonta couples . Children born of male and female relationships maintained by the male .
4 . Family Type PigeonsFamily
type pigeons , an ideal family in which both are responsible for the
family , both have a great sense of responsibility towards the family . If
we look at the pigeon if it has been laying eggs , the eggs will be
incubated by turns both the female , and the male will incubate the eggs
, after menetaspun doves will feed their children both in turn. Pigeons
are also a symbol of peace , where the dove is the bird that faithful
to the spouse and the pigeon is a bird that does not confuse her partner
, even though from a great distance .Of
some types of families in the course if we want to take lessons and
want to make our family a happy family , a family like the dove family
where each member of the family to understand and carry out the duties
and functions to the fullest and mutual cooperation and complementarity
between family members .
Chapter IV
Meaning Love in Marriage
Love has meaning sacred and sublime . Love is a noble conception of life . Therefore love must be placed and interpreted correctly .Many who interpret the love affection , so in this case the real love is universal . Love and affection are the two things that give the same principle . Love is giving in terms of both material , while honey is given that is immaterial / not a form of matter . Therefore love also has the meaning of willingness give happiness to others .A family built on love will be better and everlasting . In a family based on love that there is mutual giving , complement each other, help each other , and protect each other . Based on love , it is not in family demands mutual , gouge , mutually degrading / insulting each other and each masterIn contrast to the only family based with lust . Lust is the desire of one's own or control either material or non-material form . Families are only based on lust , then there is another demand , another master , belonging and mutual condescension.
Chapter V
Sexually interpret in marriage
Sexual intercourse is something really beautiful if done right time and place as it should . Therefore
sexual intercourse has several functions and dimensions that we must
understand together , sex is a gift of God to be more meaningful and
feels as a gift given by God to man to be done properly and correctly . Should we interpret sexual intercourse , namely :
1 . as WorshipSexual
intercourse after consent qabul have religious value , because it would
get the reward because it includes religious instruction . But
if it is done outside of marriage or before the marriage so valuable
aqad sin because sex outside marriage as fornication is strictly
forbidden religion . Because
sex outside of marriage has tremendous value crimes , will lead to the
escape of offspring , would cause many diseases , will reduce the degree
of human , channeling occurs wild sexual appetite so that missing
values of humanity , human willingness to indulge only satan and left
the command of God .Sex is worth not forgetting of course worship begins with the prayer :بسم الله الرحمن الرحيماللهم جنبنا الشيطان وجنب الشيطا ما رزقتنا" Bismillahirrohmaanirrohiim , Allohumma jannibna syaithoona , wajannibisy - syaithoona rozaqtanaa maa "It means : " In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful . O Allah , keep us from the devil , and the devil take away from the ( children ) that you have given us . "
2 . As a manifestation of Love Husband WifeLove
is something that is sacred and is a gift of God to man 's most
valuable , of human love is life , with human love is alive and will
return to God with love ." Life without love is like a garden that is not flowering ," says a poet . Therefore love is the key to happiness . But love often mistakenly understood by most of us . Love is something beautiful and majestic .Love is not just a feeling of love towards something or someone , but it has a deeper meaning . Love
is closer to the meaning of love , love is given in the form of the
material , while unfortunately also has the meaning given but the
emphasis given in the case of non material such as attention , smiles ,
caresses , etc. . Therefore willingness meanings of love to have someone to give others happiness ,
especially to the husband / wife love is very important because there is
a principle that we must hold that :a. Marry the one you love orb . Love the one you marry.if we are not able to perform a principle , then we must try to hold the principle b . It
would be ideal if the two principles we can do , because then it would
be perfect a family and truly love being a family foundation .Sexual relationships are based on love of course is different from sexual intercourse with sheer lust . Full
of love and tenderness attention , so that sexual intercourse is done
with great love will bring mutual satisfaction , one partner dominates
nothing but joy and mutual understanding that lead to satisfaction for
his partner , sexual relationships based on love and happiness with
pleasure menghadirakan .One
embodiment of love of husband and wife is sexual intercourse , sexual
activity often become something very important and very focused person's
family . A lot of family issues that cause serious problems and even divorce due to sexual problems because couples can not satisfy . Therefore
satisfaction should be sought together and each couple must also
understand that not every sexual encounter will result in pleasure , so
do not just pursue pleasure , but togetherness , willingness to serve
and love should be the foundation.
3 . As a Means of Getting DescendantsFunction
of sexual intercourse is very important , because most of the people or
even living things develop offspring by sexual intercourse as a human
let alone a unisexual creature must have sex to have a child or to
reproduce , even androgynous gandapun animals must have sex with other get a descent as though hermaphrodite snails have sex with other snails because genital distance apart .
4 . As a Means of Obtaining HappinessIn
addition to worship and get offspring , sexual intercourse has
recreational function , ie in order to get physical pleasure , sexual
intercourse is a fantasy for any normal human being , both men and women
they always imagine the beauty of the sexual intercourse . Even the man in the al - Qur'anpun lured angel in return for a man of faith and diligent worship . Therefore
sexual intercourse is something very human , religious Islampun
accommodate human needs in this case by way of legally married , Islam
is very strongly against sexual abuse in relationships outside marriage
as unlawful acts .5 . As a Means of Maintaining HealthSexual
intercourse can also serve to maintain the health of reproductive
organs , because the sexual intercourse , the blood circulation around
the genitals to be smooth and smooth blood will lead to the recovery of
cells that quickly , in addition to the friction when the sexual
relationship will also throw and going renewal of existing cells .Sexual
intercourse will also burn a lot of calories in the body , where if a
lot of calories stored as fat in the body also cause health problems in
humans .While
that intercourse outside of marriage is a crime against humanity and
the extraordinary religious fornication which is a great sin , why is
that because sexual relations outside of marriage are :
1 . Maksiat actionsSexual relations outside of marriage is an act that violates the rules of religion and the wrath of God Almighty . As Allah says in the Qur'an . Al - Isra ' verse 32 : " And do not go near to adultery , because adultery is actually dirty and the worst of the road . "
2 . No Love in depthPeople
who have sex outside of marriage , there is no love in it and there is
no beauty in it , sex is usually performed in a place like this that do
not deserve and that pursued only low-value mundane , and even the
culprit would be demeaning . Usually
a sexual relationship outside of marriage is only worth rupiah or
commercial will obviously reduce the sacredness of true meaning of love .
3 . Ancestors and Descendants blurringIf
there is a sexual relationship outside of marriage and ultimately
pregnancy occurs, a person's genealogy became blurred , because there
will be difficulty in determining the lineage and the child of an affair
going forward usually tend to be introverted child because the child
was not clear . Therefore if you have foresight should avoid sexual relations outside of marriage will cause problems later on .
4 . Good Intentions are not Continuing DescendantsSexual intercourse outside marriage is usually no intention of getting offspring . Usually men who impregnate often irresponsible , just happy to impregnate but after pregnant escape responsibility . Therefore
this should be prevented as much as possible , do not occur in our
environment because a child out of wedlock would be a lot of problems
that accompany it . Child
out of wedlock most commonly in the future will make the problem even
though some are successful , because children born out of wedlock to a
lack of affection , lack of attention and education are not considered .
5 . Impingement Only LustSexual relations outside of marriage clearly is impingement sexual appetite , which pursued only physical pleasure . Therefore
it is only when both of the imposition of the will of man or the woman ,
even though they are doing in the name of love , but it is very far
from the real meaning of love so there goes the great significance of a
sexual relationship is one manifestation of the meaning of love .
6 . Many diseases causeSexual relations outside of marriage would be a lot better cause disease or mental illness and mental illness are born . Mental
illness in the form of guilt and remorse that prolonged , because we
all know it is a great sin , while we do not know if our sin was
forgiven by God or not , this is what will eventually lead to diseases
such as stress , depression , and loss of honor in society , people will despise the perpetrators of sexual intercourse outside of marriage .In
addition to the many mental illnesses are diseases that are encountered
outward like rajasinga , herpes , gonorrhea , hiv / aids , etc. .
Chapter VI
Summary
Ideal family a happy physically and spiritually , the afterlife is the desire of us. Therefore we should always be working on it as the embodiment of sincerity and love .Capital to build a happy family physically and spiritually , the world hereafter required is :
1 . Each family member is one who is faithful and devoted to God . 2 . Each member of the family to understand and realize the functions and duties of each .
3 . Each
member of the family continues to develop and foster a sense of love ,
compassion for all members of the family and to society at large .
4 . Each family member is always diligent prayer , especially prayer as a measure of understanding and awareness of religion .
5 . Fulfillment of needs for food , clothing , housing , education , and entertainment / recreation .So
a bit of writing advice I hope this to be useful especially for the
writer and the reader, as well as a perpetual charity for the author ,
as well as being our good deeds along with the understanding and meaning
of love , and sit in a portion of real love .
READING LIST
1 . Ministry of Religious Affairs , the Qur'an and Terjemahnya ,
2 . Advisory bodies , Development and Preservation of Marriage ( BP4 ) Special Region of Yogyakarta , Sakinah Family 20113 .
3. Qusnul Chotimah , Proceedings of Du'a and Dhikr , Indah Jaya , Surabaya ,
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